Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
