Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
