i barfeds in our rink
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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