Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
