so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
