i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
