That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
