her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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