So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
