What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
