The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he shaved USA in his pubs
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
