Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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