i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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