so that wasnt chicken after all
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
