September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
