like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize