At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
