Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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