Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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