You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
