put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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