just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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