so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
