i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
