i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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