U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
