i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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