Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Houston, we have a squirter
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
