Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
