Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
