remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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