I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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