sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
