When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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