everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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