yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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