Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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