fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
