I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
