She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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