Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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