Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
