in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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