Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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