Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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