My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
