i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
