He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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