My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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