whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
