i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
