i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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