She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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