so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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