yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
