some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
we're so committed to being not committed
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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